As your Patriot starts their trek toward becoming an adult, your relationship with them may begin to evolve. It's important to discuss boundaries with your student as they explore their individuality and define (or redefine) themselves.
What is a boundary?
A boundary involves establishing or negotiating how we are in our environments and relationships (Storm, 2009). Boundaries allow us to communicate what we want and don't want. It's easy to associate a boundary with the word "No", but setting healthy boundaries includes the word "Yes" too! Consider boundary setting as an invitation to engage in a new style of communicating with your adult student. As they mature, they may want to establish boundaries with you, which is completely normal. It's neither a good thing nor a bad thing, simply a change as your student navigates college life.
Establishing boundaries can look/sound like:
- Requests for privacy at it pertains to grades/academic standing/health information
- Changes in contact (frequency/time of day/days of the week)
- Setting limits on what you can post about your student on social media
Examples of boundaries you can set:
We asked higher education staff members who have students in college about the boundaries they set for themselves when engaging with them. If college administrators can do it, you can too!
“I don’t follow my kids' Venmo transactions. It’s not good for me or them to see what they’re spending money on or their euphemisms for such shenanigans.”
“I won't be completing tasks on my student's first-year checklist. It isn't my responsibility and I want my student to practice over the spring and summer about being on top of his tasks to help him develop his own agency in college.”
“I plan on holding the same boundaries with my daughter as I do with my students. The main one has to do with planning vs. procrastinating. I tend to not honor last minute requests.”
It is also important to set boundaries and rules while your student is at home. Your student may be used to their own routine they established at George Mason, which may or may not align with your schedule or expectations.
As you begin to contemplate which boundaries you want to set with your student, you can still let them know that you are there for them when they need it.
“My daughter knows that if she is in trouble of any kind, or just needs help, she can call me at any time. No questions asked.”
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